That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
