Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
