You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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