it hurts more in the daytime
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
