Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
