Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
