you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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