After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I love you. Go after that dick
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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