belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm gonna fight the coyote
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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