I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
