I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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