Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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