if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We're facebook friends in real life
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
