It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
