You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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