Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
