I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
