i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
