you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
only you would photoshop your dick
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
