btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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