went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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