Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
