I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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