Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
