Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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