Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
