Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
