How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
