The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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