I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
