Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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