You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
