Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
this hospital has no fireball
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
