I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
