Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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