i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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