I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
