All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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