What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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