Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
