This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
