Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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