i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
3pm strippers are depressing
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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