girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
