I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
