She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Did I show you my penis last night?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
