Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
