Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
