Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
