Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
